2013 SUMMER AT CERN IN GENEVA

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When one thinks of Switzerland, one thinks of cool places like Mount Blanc, the highest mountain in Europe (15,781 feet), shown on the left after the top picture. But I came to CERN to learn, and one of the first things learned is that Mount Blanc is actually about an hour out of Geneva, but in France. Despite the snow at altitude, the base at Chamonix was hot, as was Geneva for much of this summer. The top figure shows me sweating in my office at CERN. Reality for physics grad students is made clear by the posting on the door. And when will morale improve? When Geneva stops charging 3 to 30 times more than what everything costs in the U.S., and when the Swiss learn to start using air conditioning when needed. Alas, we from UF have brought our own (shown on the right below figure 1), however we use it at great risk because CERN fears global warming, but apparently enjoys heat when Mother Nature supplies it. Those who use the a/c shown (with a cooling radius of about 9 inches to one foot) risk being burned alive for heresy. 

The summit of Mount Blanc is outside. I thought that only physicists are nuts, but there were non-physicists climbing this thing.

Cool at the top, but 90 degrees F at the bottom in Chamonix.

Below: Flags at the Leaugue of Nations - which utterly failed to prevent World War 2. The U.S. never joined it. At CERN the U.S. pays 40% of the budget, but only European nations get to fly their flag there. The E in CERN stands of European.

Chamonix and Mount Blanc are about 60 miles from Geneva. Cost to get there and up to the top for our family of 3? About $500.

OK, the old man got the jack ass ears on me (see the pic to the right), but I beaned him with a snowball in June.

Below: My office. I risk my career by revealing this a/c unit. Air conditioning in CERN is about as easy to find as it is in hell, but, of course, the rules are different for me! Check out the temps after I left.

I've settled on my thesis. It's about how to levitate the CMS Experiment to transport it to UF where we have air conditioning. The Swiss, knocked out by heat exhaustion, will never notice it's missing. Anyway, since the U.S. pays 40% of CERN operating costs and they don't fly our flag, I figure that we own at least this much.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse at the League of Nations. Sorry, the artist forgot to include me in the painting.

After my father was advised by UF that CERN has 2,000 to 3,000 asses of which only 6 are important, dad attempts to complete my education by putting ass ears on me.

No, ladies, you're not too late. This is not my girl friend with me - it's my personal cook (i.e., my mother).

Capturing nature at its best.